1. Self esteem/self respect/how much we love ourselves directly impacts how we respond to things around us
2. “the greater our self-esteem, the less quick we are to take offense because when we love ourselves, (a) we don’t assume that someone’s actions mean he doesn’t respect us; and (b) even if we do come to that conclusion we aren’t angered, because we don’t need his respect in order to respect ourselves.”
3. It’s not you unless you make it about you.
4. “While he might see you as less, that doesn’t make you less — but if you feel less, then it does make you angry.”
5. “The ego is on the lookout for any situation that calls into question our worth, fearful that we are not lovable and may be rejected.”
6. We are making a choice every moment of every day to hold onto resentment, or to let it go.
7. “An individual who controls himself recognizes that he doesn’t control the world, and so he is not anxious. In fact, this understanding offers solace, because all he has to do is exercise self control, and God will take care of the rest.”
8. what is within my control right now that will help me to value who I am? To remind myself that I am a person of dignity and worthy of self-respect.
9. The more we ruminate and re-energize the wrongs, the stronger the neural pathways become, and we wire ourselves to become angry and resentful people to everyone. When we hold onto anger, we are the ones who suffer, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
10. Six-phase protocol to bring peace to your relationships and yourself:
    1. Phase 1: Humility + Respect
       1. Negate our ego. It’s not about us, it’s about them.
    2. Phase 2: Be Accountable
       1. Take full and complete responsibility for our actions.
    3. Phase 3: Sincerely Apologize
       1. Ensure sincerity and actually be sorry and remorseful.
    4. Phase 4: Be willing to accept and even offer consequences
       1. Cede control with your words; give back the power you took by violating trust
    5. Phase 5: Make things right
       1. Prove that we are the kind of person they want in their life
    6. Phase 6: a painless game plan
       1. Let them know they have control over how things proceed
11. Too often, we confine our options to a small space, not fully recognizing the range of possibilities that extends beyond our comfort zone.
12. The bottom line is that whatever you say or do, if it’s from a position of strength — that is, you choose your course of action — you will infuse yourself with an unwavering sense of self-respect.
13. How to change the foundation of a relationship and enhance the way you interact to communicate with another person
    1. Show genuine respect by complimenting them either directly or to a third party and by listening attentively to them
    2. Let them give to you, since people actually like us more if they do something for us (a favor or advice) because they feel better about themselves
    3. Show your humanity and be vulnerable, perhaps even to a slightly self-deprecating degree.
    4. Like attracts like, so hone in on those similarities
    5. Show genuine enthusiasm by starting off interactions with positive tone, body language, and facial expressions (smile!)
    6. say a few kind words (before something goes down) to make them feel good about themselves
    7. Be an ally by defending them or reassuring them when they’re in a conflict
    8. Either side of the aisle aka don’t let a dislike of their belief spur into a dislike of them as a person
14. Our external actions mold our emotional world // we acquire virtues by first putting them into action.
15. Anger begets anger, and silence begets calm.
16. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, self-concept is what we know about ourselves.
17. If we think about the people we know who have a sense of gratitude, we realize they’re the same ones who are joyful. By contrast, those who lack appreciation usually live in a cycle of unrealized expectations and perpetual disappointment.
18. Your focus creates your thoughts and your thoughts create your emotions.
19. “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” If we look for the good in another person, we will find it.